getting it together

New layout. New outlook. New attitude. Same weight issues.

I want to thank all those who wrote me and said to not let this get to me. I normally wouldn't have, but I guess I skipped a patch of estrogen or got a bad patch and was already in a turmoil of emotions, and the review sent me over the edge. I have to remind myself that I asked for it. She didn't have to do it, wasn't paid to do it. I asked for it. I guess what pissed me off was that she hit the graphics. Yes, I knew that the border was off, I tried to fix it. I think it had something to do with Blogger too. I could have chosen a different Christmas theme, but you know, it's Christmas. Do you leave that hiuge snowman that is fan operated out in your yard all year long? (*look at my mother-in-laws home) NO. I wasn't leaving the graphics up all year, and from the get go I said this wasn't my style but I thought it was cute.

I was also upset about the quotes / stories she liked or disliked. Only a set of quotes from one day and the articles about how I disagree with my mother-in-law. If my best writing is when I pick on my mother-in-law, then I really must pack up and go. I'm not here to have a bitch session daily on her or my life in general. And honestly, I only have so much material on her (ba da bump). I did find the email request I sent her and I had to describe myself and why I wanted the review. The whole email was revolved around my "pink bubble world". Review my bubble, not the other aspects. Ok, I did some searching, my journal was to be on my pink bubble successes, and it's turned into a so-so journal that averages to 90% blah stuff and 10% pink related stuff. I'm working on turning those numbers around. as. we. speak.

No, I'm not going away. Like I said, it was an emotional day yesterday. I couldn't explain it. Crying one second, then a third, then a fourth for no reason. I'm breaking out due to stress and I can't find the stress related problem. I think I have it narrowed down, but it seems stupid to have me in a turned around state. I'm totally paranoid that I'm going to lose this job, so I'm trying to hard and I'm messing more things up and then have to re-correct them at work and then that worries me even more about my standing with work. They reassure me I'm not going anywhere, I'm even getting a cd-burner installed in a few days on my computer. That's great proof of my status. I'm just still scared.

As for the pink bubble world - I have goals set in place. With Julie now attending "Pink Wednesday's" with me, I know I have my power-pal and we are going to change things this coming year. Goals I have set for myself - Priorities: build to a 100 customer base and make Star Consultant. From there - move into my Red Jacket and go for Team Leader. Start putting money aside for Seminar (in Dallas Texas this coming July) and to make it to Career Conference in March. First step? To visit 4 customers today, Open House this weekend and start calling some husbands for last minute shopping.

I have said it before. I'm saying it again. New Attitude.