I'm God and you're not
Major vent. My mother-in-law. {insert huge, pissed off sigh here}. I swear when I get my own space, I'll have to go to Moveable Type for categories blogging and I'll have one section just for her. Then everyone can have a laugh and send me pitty cards for dealing with a woman like her. I do like her. It's in her "moments" that I really could just throw her into a brick wall and be done with her. I'm sure she runs back to her family telling all my mean little things and how rebellious I am to her and she makes me look like the bad guy - I know she does. She does it about her family to me. Where to begin? 1996? No. Too far back. Save those when I need a laugh. This past weekend.
1) She e-mails B on Friday that she is having a Christmas Party for some friends of her from work and her husband (3rd husband) has invited some people from his work and not everyone is showing up - all the extra food, blah blah blah... can we show up too? Ahhh we are afterthoughts. It has made me think over the past few days how many other parties she has had that we were not invited to. I doubt many, if any at all. You have to know her - this isn't her thing. She's now upset that B can't get off from work in time to go to the party and upset that I'm doing "that pink thing" all day Saturday, never mind that her other son flat told her out that he wasn't coming. It's ok if he doesn't go but we have to go?
2) The kids and I arrive around 7pm. No one is there. But slowly people show up. At the end there are about 8 couples. B shows up at 8 and she's mad he's not dressed up. He just got off work lady! I guess the topper was - they ended up being all her co-workers and they talked all work. Never talked to B, me, or my father-in-law and went into this little group thing. Turned into a major bitch session of how un-happy they are at work and dogged everyone that didn't show up for the get together.
3) Finally B and I had enough of the complaints and decided to head home. J asked if she could spend the night and I said that if 'putz' was ok with it, I was. Putz said that she was going to church in the morning and I said I would be up already; I'll bring church clothes and meet them there. She agrees and says good-bye to D. He gets this face on him and B and I caught it quickly and we told Putz that D wanted to spend the night too. She then said "well ok". I knew then that she had no intent taking D for the night. I'm so glad that B said something and at the same time I should have said that's ok, he'll come home with us.
4) I drop off church clothes the next morning, tell her I'll pick them up at 12 (even though I have an Open House at that time) and she says she would take the kids for the day and I'm to pick them up later in the evening. Ok, fine with me, to me all is fine and dandy. I find out later she was miffed that I didn't go to church. She expected me to go to church with her. Hello? God? I will not go to her church or be a part of her religion; I'll lose my religion before I go to hers.
Ugh. This is where it gets tricky and since B will not talk to her about it - it's a stand off right now. I go to pick up the kids around 6pm and they are earthly quiet. Usually at her place, lots of noise and things going on and a fight to stay ensues. Not that night. They got their stuff together and ran out the door like I have never seen before. I knew right there and then something was up. We get to the car and I asked if all is ok, J says no. Putz got mad at them in a store and told D that if he ever asked to spend the night again it would be no. WHAT?! You're telling YOUR GRANDSON that he can NEVER spend the night again but your GRANDDAUGHTER CAN?? What the FUCK? Yeah.. that was the rage of my emotions at the time. I should have got back out of the car and confronted her on the spot. Well why didn't ya? Reasons - and I'm sure for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to make sure the comment was a tease and not an out right statement. You know - if you don't behave now, you'll never come to the house again. My mom and I do it all the time to them. "Behave or no more Grandma's". Did Putz say the same thing in a different way and come across a total different way? Or is she still telling us after 8 years that she doesn't want a grandson and only a grand-daughter and doesn't have the time to bother with him? Yes - I was told for the first 3 years we were married and trying to have a baby she didn't want a boy. "I've raised my fill of boys; by golly you better have a girl". When I had D a year later she told me what a shame, J wouldn't have a sister to play with. Putz has a sister she can't stand to be with longer then a day and all I hear about is the fights they had as kids, but it's a shame my daughter doesn't have a sister?
By this time though. I just want to go home. I'll talk to B, he will deal with his mother, not me. I have to deal with my mom on issues he can't handle, he will deal with his. In the meantime, all sleep-overs have suspended, even J won't be able to. Damn right unfair to say J can and D can't. The kids by this time are in fear that they will be grounded. Daddy had warned them to behave themselves the night before and so this to them is major trouble. I had to reassure them that I have to hear both sides. If D did do something wrong to have this comment said, then he owes Putz an apology. Otherwise if she's in the wrong - well fat chance of hearing an apology come from her. She's God right hand woman. She can do no wrong. (yes - this is one of our communities’ future minister leaders)
I told B later that night and he agreed with me, no sleep-overs but I don't think he will ask her what happened. I think it's more "feel this one out". B will never get into a heated battle with her because she will turn it back on him and say what a bad kid he was and how no one loves her and blah blah blah. She's not worth the fight. But she has put a cramp in my Christmas, because she will want us to go over Christmas day.
And with my regards to the comments on God. I totally believe in him. But I really think if he's going to "call on someone" to do his 'work', I think he meant the person next to her, and not her and he missed the aimed target for his calling.
Major vent. My mother-in-law. {insert huge, pissed off sigh here}. I swear when I get my own space, I'll have to go to Moveable Type for categories blogging and I'll have one section just for her. Then everyone can have a laugh and send me pitty cards for dealing with a woman like her. I do like her. It's in her "moments" that I really could just throw her into a brick wall and be done with her. I'm sure she runs back to her family telling all my mean little things and how rebellious I am to her and she makes me look like the bad guy - I know she does. She does it about her family to me. Where to begin? 1996? No. Too far back. Save those when I need a laugh. This past weekend.
1) She e-mails B on Friday that she is having a Christmas Party for some friends of her from work and her husband (3rd husband) has invited some people from his work and not everyone is showing up - all the extra food, blah blah blah... can we show up too? Ahhh we are afterthoughts. It has made me think over the past few days how many other parties she has had that we were not invited to. I doubt many, if any at all. You have to know her - this isn't her thing. She's now upset that B can't get off from work in time to go to the party and upset that I'm doing "that pink thing" all day Saturday, never mind that her other son flat told her out that he wasn't coming. It's ok if he doesn't go but we have to go?
2) The kids and I arrive around 7pm. No one is there. But slowly people show up. At the end there are about 8 couples. B shows up at 8 and she's mad he's not dressed up. He just got off work lady! I guess the topper was - they ended up being all her co-workers and they talked all work. Never talked to B, me, or my father-in-law and went into this little group thing. Turned into a major bitch session of how un-happy they are at work and dogged everyone that didn't show up for the get together.
3) Finally B and I had enough of the complaints and decided to head home. J asked if she could spend the night and I said that if 'putz' was ok with it, I was. Putz said that she was going to church in the morning and I said I would be up already; I'll bring church clothes and meet them there. She agrees and says good-bye to D. He gets this face on him and B and I caught it quickly and we told Putz that D wanted to spend the night too. She then said "well ok". I knew then that she had no intent taking D for the night. I'm so glad that B said something and at the same time I should have said that's ok, he'll come home with us.
4) I drop off church clothes the next morning, tell her I'll pick them up at 12 (even though I have an Open House at that time) and she says she would take the kids for the day and I'm to pick them up later in the evening. Ok, fine with me, to me all is fine and dandy. I find out later she was miffed that I didn't go to church. She expected me to go to church with her. Hello? God? I will not go to her church or be a part of her religion; I'll lose my religion before I go to hers.
Ugh. This is where it gets tricky and since B will not talk to her about it - it's a stand off right now. I go to pick up the kids around 6pm and they are earthly quiet. Usually at her place, lots of noise and things going on and a fight to stay ensues. Not that night. They got their stuff together and ran out the door like I have never seen before. I knew right there and then something was up. We get to the car and I asked if all is ok, J says no. Putz got mad at them in a store and told D that if he ever asked to spend the night again it would be no. WHAT?! You're telling YOUR GRANDSON that he can NEVER spend the night again but your GRANDDAUGHTER CAN?? What the FUCK? Yeah.. that was the rage of my emotions at the time. I should have got back out of the car and confronted her on the spot. Well why didn't ya? Reasons - and I'm sure for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to make sure the comment was a tease and not an out right statement. You know - if you don't behave now, you'll never come to the house again. My mom and I do it all the time to them. "Behave or no more Grandma's". Did Putz say the same thing in a different way and come across a total different way? Or is she still telling us after 8 years that she doesn't want a grandson and only a grand-daughter and doesn't have the time to bother with him? Yes - I was told for the first 3 years we were married and trying to have a baby she didn't want a boy. "I've raised my fill of boys; by golly you better have a girl". When I had D a year later she told me what a shame, J wouldn't have a sister to play with. Putz has a sister she can't stand to be with longer then a day and all I hear about is the fights they had as kids, but it's a shame my daughter doesn't have a sister?
By this time though. I just want to go home. I'll talk to B, he will deal with his mother, not me. I have to deal with my mom on issues he can't handle, he will deal with his. In the meantime, all sleep-overs have suspended, even J won't be able to. Damn right unfair to say J can and D can't. The kids by this time are in fear that they will be grounded. Daddy had warned them to behave themselves the night before and so this to them is major trouble. I had to reassure them that I have to hear both sides. If D did do something wrong to have this comment said, then he owes Putz an apology. Otherwise if she's in the wrong - well fat chance of hearing an apology come from her. She's God right hand woman. She can do no wrong. (yes - this is one of our communities’ future minister leaders)
I told B later that night and he agreed with me, no sleep-overs but I don't think he will ask her what happened. I think it's more "feel this one out". B will never get into a heated battle with her because she will turn it back on him and say what a bad kid he was and how no one loves her and blah blah blah. She's not worth the fight. But she has put a cramp in my Christmas, because she will want us to go over Christmas day.
And with my regards to the comments on God. I totally believe in him. But I really think if he's going to "call on someone" to do his 'work', I think he meant the person next to her, and not her and he missed the aimed target for his calling.
posted by colagrl @ Tuesday, December 10, 2002
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