Most of the time, I can be pretty positive when I write my gratitude items. Put you can see my t h a n k f u l entries, I had to search for 5 positive things. The last three were hard.
Today, being that I'm feeling actually jobless and not one director has got a hold of me, and I promised B I would not change the work schedule to keep the money flow coming.. I'm feeling a litttle lost. The feelings of getting out of this town not fast enough has hit again and for once I was even willing to look at Florida to move to. I think the Mississippi river isn't even big enough to put a distance between me and this town.
What sucks is that both B and I are scared to move at this point. The unknown at another new town with no job lined up yet just scares us. But then, he's not looking at another town, or even job hunting at this point. He did look into the law enforcement again. He applied a year ago and was turned down, not the "right type" when they did their search last year. He had to wait a year before reapplying. It's been a year. Would love to say it's been a year that we tightened up the belt and this was the start of our downward spiral.. but I really think it dates back 11 years ago when we married that our money problems started. Last year was just another notch in our belt of problems we have endured.