blech

My page looks like Valentines Day exploded on it.

But as Bztera said.. "ch ch ch ch changes"... today I went to work for the Director who has pretty much told me that she can't stand my Director or my web work and I worked a full day for her. She is great to get a long with and while doing office stuff with her, I heard her talk to her team, give inspiration, ideas and she made me feel good about myself too. She gave me a belated birthday present of having my glamor shots done, (with pink brand of make-up of course) and she has been the greatest in my moral being. One thing I have learned in this Director world... listen to what I want, ignore the rest, each person is different and I'm now learning all the different types of people out there in the world.

She has decided to have me do her website because her local host, the exact same company that does sites for the pink world that I'm not crazy about has crashed for the past 3 days. So now I'm on my 4th Director website... (annoucer voice "And that's Not all...tell them...") yep - my contractor job called and wants me to start tomorrow, working 30/40 hours a week for the next month, with more hours, jobs, projects down the road. So now I have to tell all the Directors that this isn't going to work and I have to quit. I don't want to leave them in a lurch, but I can't do both - a full time job, an office assistant and a web developer on the side. I know they will be upset because I promised them I would stay till the end and hang out with them till they reached the next level, but right now I have to consider my family and the cost of our living. I have to look at that working for this company for 1 month will put my family back on the up and up for at least 2 months, so keep adding new months and see where that could put us. I know.. it also means that next month she may not need me and I'm jobless again and no Director will risk me then. I don't blame them. But I know I have to think of the kids. I have to think of our family and not what the Directors want. I know they want me to walk away from corporate work, and I do too.. but I hear the voice of my Director in my head and it says "Never leave your job till you are making that same amount in the pink world". I haven't even been able to make in the pink world what I make part time, let alone full time. So that's where I stand. I now have to once again step out of my comfort zone and tell someone I have to quit. I have always been laid off, never had a chance to quit. Here is my chance to do it, and I don't want to do it. I never knew it wouldn't be an uneasy one.

{huge sigh}

Anyone want to order gift baskets for the Holiday Season?