Brown Palace

The seconds are running into minutes, the minutes are running into hours, the hours into days and my life is getting away from me. Stop that life... it's mine and it's moving to fast.

It is now Saturday once again and I have a load of stuff to do. Three sites to work on (password protecting kicks my butt), a few flyers to design up, stuff to scan, design, birthday gift to purchase for party tomorrow, calls to friends I have not talked to in days, weeks (Jennifer), and still spend "quality" time with the kids. Once again, something is going to have to give.

Had a great day yesterday with the contract job. Nearly working for the project manager for 3 weeks, we decided to do my interview and cover what I can do on a whole for the company. I think I proved it to her that there isn't much I can't do. It was one of the most informal interviews I have ever done. We rarely talked about my skills, but about life in general and how I ended up where I am now, my weakness and what I admit that I can and can not do. I didn't even bring in my portfolio. Not sure when, or if I'll be brought in full time, but my future does look bright with this company. Next week 2 of the developers I worked with will interview me too - and get more of a feel of what I can do. They too have seen what I can produce and handle pressure so I think it should be good.

I think I forgot to mention Girl Scouts. Last weekend J went on a camping trip up the street. For most of the troop - it was across town, but since we commute to GS, the camping event was up the street from our house. It was cold that weekend and a lot of girls forgot to bring jackets and stuff. Two of the older girls (10 years old) were on the wild side from what I gather and at one point in time - one of the leaders had to say something to get them to quiet down for the night. That's not the whole story, but it went along that line. Words were said to mothers that this leader is mean and spiteful and said cuss words and more words were exchanged that this leader ended up quiting. It has sadden J and I and other girls in the troop that this lady stepped down over some obnixous brats who want it their way. So in the long run, another friend of mine said she would become an ass-istant leader (I love how J says that) and I figured she couldn't go that route alone, so I stepped up to the plate too and became an ass-istant leader too. That means some where down the road I'm going camping. Ewwwwwwww. Today we went to the "Brown Palace". A beautiful historical building in downtown Denver. I had heard things about this place and just had to check it out. Our girls were on their best behavior, one of them asked too many stoopid questions and was a pain, but in the long run, better then what we expected.

I have decided that for my birthday I want a party with some of my best pals. I want to do it at the Brown Palace. It's just so rich in elegance, grace and style, I want that too. They have a "Tea at the Brown Palace" event where the ladies dress up to their nines and have tea. I'm not sure if this is what I want to do for myself, but I'm thinking about doing it for my Mother-in-law for a gift for her. Get J all dressed up and Putz and take them there. I think it would floor Putz, but be fun also as a "girls day out" treat.

Now to get some work done. Hi- Hoooooo Hi - Hooooo - it's off to work I gooooooo

lots of goodies

I'm not even sure where to begin. Tons of stuff to write about but I don't have time. I still have 2 sites to upkeep and 1 new one to design, blogs to read and see what is going on. Lots of little posts to update, meme's, photos to update and my new "director / boss" has a ton of stuff she wants me to do before morning hits this side of the earth. Something isn't going to make it. Mandy - thanks for all the comments! Stop by more often!

Well - for starters. With little sleep, major stomach cramps and tears in my eyes. I went over to Ms. C (my new Director boss) this morning and just told her I could not do the "maid" stuff she asked me to do in her 'list' that she sent me in an e-mail last night. She said "No honey.. that's for the web. That's not for you to do." She hugged me and I felt like a chump and we went about getting some office work done for her. At the end of the morning she told me "You know that I'll have to readjust your hours and pay because you won't be working those 2 other days now, because I need to find someone that will do the house work". Ah-haaaa.. that list was meant for me. Whatever. I'm not washing your windows.

Other good news - blood tests came in and I'm fine. I guess that's good.. but some how I don't feel it's the answer I was looking for. I mean yeah - I want to be healthy, but I still feel there is something underlying that says, "there's problems". Nice thing is, the new patch of estrogen the doc set me up with is awesome. Haven't had any hot flashes till late this evening and I'm due for my new patch tomorrow. No hot flashes ROCK! :)

Oh gosh.. it's Friday already. The Friday Five has just been delivered and I haven't even done the Wednesday "Reasons 4 Love" or Thursdays "Threesome Thursday" meme. I think these are going to have to wait till the weekend.

I did do my contract job again. And because of the great efforts of working on that cool contract job a month ago, I got a cool t-shirt with "Lower Manhattan's" logo on it. I'm really happy about it, but to B and I, it's another shirt to add to our "used to work here" apparel stuff. He's now up to 3 different logo shirts from the same company because they keep changing the name of his company that he works for. Oh well. Free clothes for us I guess.

I really wish this company would ask me to work more full time with them. I really like the environment, the work, the people, and the pay. But once again my "project manager" (ok, I'll lay off the " ") is on her way out the door to Austin, TX and doesn't have time to see my resume. I'm not sure if I should take that as:
a) she trusts me with my work and doesn't want to see it
b) if she avoids the resume / interview process she doesn't have to hire me.
c) who knows - I'm still working from time to time.

Lets see.. dang. I still haven't covered all that is in my head tonight. Should I go on? Have done a lot of talking with Julie in the past few days. I'm so glad / sad that we go through a lot of the same stuff at the same time. I mean, I don't ever wish her the bad stuff I go through, but sometimes we go through the same thing at different times or at the same time, and I feel comforted that I'm not alone in some of my endeavors. She has asked her company to take her to their new destination when the company moves next month. I know this isn't what she really wants to do, but the security of having a job, insurance and money in hand is comfort when she looks at the other side of the stick and there might not be all those things going for her. I just hope she knows that I love her and I know that she has to go with her heart and mind in her choice and I know a lot of people will be upset or rejoicefull about her decision, but I am truly on her side. Love ya honey. If you looked up Best Friend in the dictionary - your Future Seminar picture would be there ;)

Ok - Reason's For Love -
I wanted to cover D, my son. It's only natural. But this lady, Roberta has been on my mind a lot and I just feel I have to love up on her today.
She's another Pink Lady and she is everything that I am not. She's very quiet, shy, I wouldn't say no self-esteem, but I wouldn't say she's your cheerleader for the football team. She is old enough to be my mother; she's caring enough to be my sister. We both signed our agreements on the same day, 2 years ago, so we share a lot of 1st's together. She's not active, active in her business. I'm not even sure why she goes to the weekly Wed. nights. I guess for girl time, self-motivation, and self-assuredness and to feel better about her self. She is always nice to me and everyone she meets. When she speaks, she is so nervous that the words come out soft like pixy dust in the air. You have to stretch your ears to hear her and usually, quite often, she will break into tears when she speaks. She's a nurse full time and when Stephanie says "if I ever got sick, I would want Roberta to take care of me".. I ditto that statement times infinity.
But here is my one reason, and I need no more - of my reason for loving her. Her hugs. All pink ladies give each hugs. It's a ritual. Most are not real, and just a friendly gesture. With Roberta - they are real. They are the kind that when you embrace her, you can feel the love from her and for just a brief few seconds you can forget everyone, everything around you and feel the power that this woman has. In the past few weeks, with all the troubles I have had, Roberta comes up to me, looks at me and just knows, can read my mind that there is trouble and takes me and just holds me. Not for 3 seconds, not for 5 seconds, but what seems like forever. A good forever. A forever that you don't want to let go of the embrace. I so love her for that. This woman, who is so different from me - knows when I need just a few seconds of reassuring, a few seconds of quietness, and for just a few seconds just us in the world... if you ever get to meet her, you will be blessed with her hugs. Roberta - you are a Reason For Love.

try walking in my shoes

I heard that song by Depeche Mode today while driving up to Greely and oh I miss being in my "Depeche Mode" moods to listen to their stuff. I had a great time up there. Took 2 hours to drive up and it felt good to sing loud in the car, think about things and where I want to be starting next Monday - I haven't come to that conculsion yet.

This Director is really nice, and pretty much had an idea of what she wanted for her Unit site. So with information, cd's and photos in hand, I have walked away with my 3rd personal Director website. I think 3 more and I'm going to love quarterly billing and after 3 more after that, it's going to be silly.

Tomorrow I work for the contract job that I worked a month ago at. I really hope they will ask me to stay on to work or give more where I can come in more and do stuff. I'm rethinking this Director who wants to hire me as her **cough** assistant (as J calls it ass-istant). I got my "list" of duties today from her.. and I think I need to go purchase a "Molly Maid" uniform. YES! A MOLLY FERKIN MAID UNIFORM! She wants a house cleaner. And the DETAILS she wants of her house cleaned.. she would die in my home. I don't even clean my home to that degree.

So tonight at my pink night, I talked to Stephanie again and she said that if I want out of my comfort zone - I have to tell this lady that it's not happening. I have to take the chance and tell her I"ll be her "Office Assistant" but I will not be her house cleaner and I will have to take the chance that she wants to keep me or not. I may be job hunting next Monday. I just don't know.

I'm dreading tomorrow. I'm not ready to tell someone that I can not work for them like this. I don't like saying no without a back up. I just don't want to say "you know, I saw your list, it's crap I don't want to do it".

This saga will continune tomorrow....

almost normal

Man. I hope I don't have a sugar problem like diabetes or something. I don't think I could do a regular life of whatever happened to me today on a normal day to day thing. I took a nap, but I vaguely remember watching tv. Means I have to re-watch the MK movie again. I missed a lot. Or maybe I did watch the full movie and they were incomplete? Dunno. I got up at 2:00 and literally stumbled to the fridge knowing I needed food in my body and I had the shakes and I could barely hold myself up to look into the fridge. I grabbed some left over nachos from lunch with Stephanie yesterday and quickly ate those. I crashed on the sofa again till the kids got home and I debated on going out with B and the kids to visit his mom. She was paying for a visit to the corn-maze and dinner and even though I wanted to go, I didn't feel good enough to go and he gave me the look like "you just don't want to go". So I mustered the energy I had and went with the family. All the way there I told B what had happened during the day and he laughed.. he knew I was in bad shape and for the first 2 hours all I did was yawn.

Found out the corn-maze was closed and so what else is there to do on a cold day in Denver, CO that's cheap and fun for the kids? NOT a DAMN thing. Tried a movie.. either the theater with movies for the kids already started, or there were no movies for the kids. We ended up going out for dinner and calling it a night.

I did get all caught up on my mother-in-law's life. She is such a riot in a sick way. The topic of her latest thing in life, she's becoming an ordained minister and we asked her - would she move if the church asked her to? She said that "God called her here, why would she move?". Well... wouldn't God be calling you if he wanted you to take over a church??? We asked that if money was no object - where would she go. She said no way to El-Paso where her sister and mother live now. "Why not?" Her reply "they would be in my life all the time". Oh yeah right.. just like you are in ours. I see my mother, talk to my mother more times in 1 month then we see of you. My mother lives 10 hours away. You live 30 minutes. She gave the kids their costumes and within seconds J asked if she could change her mind on her outfit for Halloween. I said yes, but only because she wants to, not because she thinks she has to. J is now Snow White.

On the job side - the graphic position called me and we talked for 10 minutes. They are going to submit my resume farther up for an offical interview, but I have no idea what to make of it. On the other hand, the Director who wants to hire me called me and said she found me another Director who wants to hire me for office work. That puts me at 5 Directors a week. Almost could make it on that pay. The driving around would get hetic but I could almost pull it off. And just over the weekend I got out and talked to people. I went grocery shopping with D and the grocery clerk (a guy!) asked if we still carry the shaving cream and I said yes. He ordered 2 on the spot. How cool is that!

Tomorrow I go up to Greeley, CO and talk with another Director about her Unit website. So it should be a fun day. Another person I have never met. So I think in the meantime, I'll work for the Directors - then if the graphic job comes through I'll take it if it's worth while, in the meantime bring in cash and make B happy. Gosh I hope this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

whaz up?

A lot. Right now I've been poked and prodded with upteen needles, blood drawings, tests, x-rays, you name it. Yuck. I did the glucsoe thing. and they kept saying "it tastes like flat soda".. yeah, the first two gulps. Afterwards it tastes like syrup and makes you nasuea as hell. I'm now off this sugar kick and ready to take a serious kick ass nap.

Well. After some thinking of working for this Director I'm rethinking the whole thing. For a variety reasons -
1) I don't think I mentioned all the details of what I would be doing for this Director and after talking with Julie and my own personal Director... I'm not sure this is what I want to do. Sure, I will possibly move up, but some of the duties as her assistant are degrading to me and I don't see where I will learn from taking these tasks on.
2) Yesterday I got a call for a phone interview with a graphic's job. I said yes.. and I'm still waiting on this call. Have no clue how long I'm to wait.
3) My own personal Director (Stephanie - oh how I adore her) told me that yes, this oppurnity to work with this Director is great, but at this time, with B and I just finishing up a bankruptcy and still struggling, this other Director isn't going to make it in the pay I should be making. Of course, 3 other Directors will help, but technically - I'm not at a point where I should say "Ok. Bring on the Pink full time". I need at least 6 months to a year of a steady job, build my own customer base up (gave out 2 business cards today) and then be ready to walk the pink road. Not be thrown out into it.

So for the time being I'm stalling the Director - waiting for the job interview to come in. Not a bold and great move on my behalf. I'll have to call her today. I know it. Sigh. I hate confirtations.

My spelling sucks at this point, and my thought process is getting garbled up. Need nap.

To answer the question on the Tag - no. Not all of it yet. I taped it and watched some of it. Will finish it today. I can say some of things were acurate, but not all of it, and some of it was so stretched.. a rubber band would have snapped with the way Hollywood stretched the truth on the stories.My pink corporate was not consulted for the move, and from what I hear, BC (the other company in the movie) wasn't consulted either. This was all of Hollywoods doing. If you want to see what it's like in the bubble.. find a consultant who will tell you the truth and invite you to see the truth. Don't base any of our lives off that movie. Please!

SAHM

I have turned into my mother.. taking the kids to school in my PJ's!