rattled or Not a Girl, Yet Not a Woman

Oh yes.. that will be a search target.

I don't know. Seems like my life has kicked into over-drive and I'm going to play catch up with it all weekend long. I'm in the middle of getting SuzAnne's site up and running, they want the pages there so that they can see what needs to be added. It seems like one thing or another was in the way and causing problems. Couldn't upload properly, couldn't find the correct colors for the site that I was happy with, etc. etc. Finally after 2 hours got the 1st page up and I'll have to admit, damn. It looks good.

Going to SuzAnne's house has really put some positive in my life and made it extremely hard to go back to sucky job yesterday. Boss was pissed as heck that he wanted an update flyer on the agents that have sold the most for the Hawaii trip they are planning next year (and I can't work full time.. ) Had the flyer done in 10 minutes and I was once again back in good graces. What an ass.

Today is my Friday - and so I was off and running to the other side of town to visit a customer and have lunch with her. She was my first customer in this biz and if it wasn't for her, I would have quit this a long time ago. We worked together at another wonderful job that I was so nicely laid off from and because of my biz, we have been able to stay friends. Today 2 other employees that I worked with meet with us for lunch. Hadn't seen them in 2 years and they were so cool to see. I guess the funny part was, the VP who laid me off showed up too and he saw me. Not sure if he remembered me or not, but it was ackward for a few moments.

Then home to crank out the site. Took a 2 hour break and went to the book store to get the kids some books. We have been promising them books from the school book club and just never have the money at the time or forget about it. Will remember next time. Could have saved ourselves about $40 from Barns & Nobles. I just had to break down and buy magnet poetry. We got some dorky 20 letters manget words from our medical insurance and B and I have been leaving each other stoopid notes. Now we can get serious and leave each other some real notes.

Ran over to Payless with their buy 1 get 2nd pair 1/2 off sale to pick up J and D some school shoes. J is growing like a weed and she is now at a point where she can wear a Childs 3 or a Women's 5. Not a girl and not yet a woman. Yikes. Got her some school shoes and tennis shoes. Got D some school shoes, his tennis shoes are fine and then got myself some nice work shoes. Every pair I own are either heels or something that says "wear colored socks". I want my white socks! Money that should not have been spent but needed and I don't look forward to telling B my total (B&N was worse then Payless) in spending.

Now to spend another 3 hours before bed and work on the site some more. I want them to be able to see something over the weekend and give them food for thought. Besides - another full day tomorrow. Girlscouts and one of J's friends and her mom wants to do something with us. Busy busy busy day.

1. Would you say that you're good at keeping in touch with people? Basically yes. E-mail and the phone are about my best buddies in the world. I keep up with those near and dear I think on a daily basis. There is the occasional slip of a person I forget and I won't hear from or contact for about 3 months. Sorry mom, I'll call you next week. :) J/K.

2. Which communication method do you usually prefer/use: e-mail, telephone, snail mail, blog comments, or meeting in person? Why? I love to meet a person face to face, but when you have a ton of online friends across the world, email comes next. I use snail mail for my customers, for that special touch and the telephone I think has an attachement that is built into my ear.

3. Do you have an instant messenger program? How many? Why/why not? How often do you use it? umm have used most of them. ICQ, AIM, Yahoo, MSN. Have AIM and MSN still but only log in when I think I need to be. Does that make sense? Sometimes I get a feeling I should be online and so I'll log in. Usually I'll talk to someone I haven't heard from in months so I guess it's a good thing.

4. Do most of your close friends live nearby or far away? My 2 best friends live within a mile of me. I consider that a huge plus. I didn't have a lot of friends before moving to Colorado so I consider the friends I do have.. they are nearby.

5. Are you an "out of sight, out of mind" person, or do you believe that "distance makes the heart grow fonder"? Out Of Sight, Out of Mind. Who are you again?

happy 1st birthday to the friday five!

hetic

I'm heading off to bed. Will catch up with the day I had with SuzAnne tomorrow. Posting picture that her husband so sweetly took of me in her office. OMG. Her office is as big as my living room. Her kitchen was as big as my living room and kitchen combined. I so need to step up. :)

pink night

It snowed on the mountains! I just love looking at the Rockies with a dusting of snow on the top. Close enough to admire, far enough that I don't need snow tires. Perfect snow for me. That started my day of to a great day. Last night before drinking a Rum & Coke, I literally slapped a small 2 page website for SuzAnne to show her tomorrow. Sent it to Julie this morning to get her feed back and she was crazy about it. Hopefully SuzAnne will think the same way.

Got home to find another Director has called and is interested in my webservices. I called Julie again and quickly figured it out that with the 3 websites I'll be making a little over $150.00 every quarter. I also think that if this catches on quickly, I'm going to get slammed in the next 3 weeks and I'll have to have Julie help me. What a plus that would be. :) I'm going to approach my moms Director and see if she wants in on the action too. This could get fun.

Went to training tonight. Had to speak again. Talked about the Internet Holiday Open House that is coming up next month. Sounds like fun. Will actually post the link I think so that people can sign up for the shopping spree sweepstakes.

Our luck was with us tonight. B had paid a bill earlier in the week and for someone reason on the recieving end was a mess up and so that meant the bill didn't get paid and that put money back into our account to cover us for a few more days. What a relief. Someone was looking out for us!

I'm going to try and hit the sack before midnight tonight. The drink last night put me out before 11.pm and that was one of the best sleeps I have had in a long time!

Reasons For Love

A new meme project. Reason's For Love.

I love B. He is the light of my life.

He makes me laugh, feel good about myself, cry, think and go to him when I need help.

We lean on each other and we pass the problems back and forth and work them out.

On a pink night, I fell in front of the door (dang heels) and we thought I had broken my foot. He swooped me up and carried me into the house. His first comment? "Dang honey, you smell good". How else can you handle a damsel in distress with that comment?

He shoveled the snow off my car so I could get the kids off to school with no problems.

He picks up milk in the wee hours of the night so that the kids can have their favorite cereal in the mornings.

Even when money is tight, he always gets me the coolest presents on gift giving holidays.

I love the messages he puts on my cell-phone that makes me think positive.

I love the messages he lives me on the fridge with the magnet word set we got.

I love him for many more reasons.

titles!

Ok, I can't do without a title. I just need it. Also like the look for this week. Ha! Scare of the week - getting a call from the school that Jen isn't in school, is she sick? NO! I dropped her off! With her brother and the neighbor's children. Found out she wasn't in her seat when roll-call was done, she was marked absent. Will find out her story this afternoon then call the school and let them know before scary the wits out of me, make sure she's really gone.

It's a pink day for me. Have been asked to speak tonight. This topic was something I found off the web so I'm going to speak on that. I don't ever say no to Stephanie or Heidi, I figure the topics I don't have clue about and get nervous about is a learning experience.

I listened to the hotline number today and another consultant is on her 4th team member. This consultant just signed up a month ago. "She's making a difference in her life". Am I not? Am I not trying? I don't know...

Not sure why I keep giving a title to my posts.. so I'm going to try and break this habit. It's not like my boss comes in and says loudly "changes". Well. Yes he does.

Anway - have had some time to calm down over last night and I can post now. Should have wrote when my feelings were fresh and new but I didn't think that was the proper time. Neither is now.. I'm actually busy with work (ha! what he thinks is work, is piddly crap to me). He did agree that if I can not get the order form working we can outsource it. DANG! There is a God! How I so wanted to hear that this morning. Watch my luck be.. it will work today.

Back to yesterday. SuzAnne called me. Wants to meet me with her husband on Thurs. gave me instructions and now I have about 2 days to get a demo website up and I'm in a mental "web-block" and can't come up with a nice layout. I don't know her personally so I can't even pin point colors, design, or style to see what she wants. I know she mentioned she loves graphics so I think if it comes to it, I'll have primary colors in sections. She said it will be big. Good. Bring it on, this one should be fun. Hopefully her husband will let me run with this and not want me to teach him how to do it and do it himself.

Julie then called and I asked her to go for a joy ride to the bank. We talked about Suzanne and how funny it would be for me to sneek off and take pictures of her house. Not thinking ill of SuzAnne, but more like.. her house is a mansion (to us) and we have never seen it and we are both dying to find out how a 'n.s.d.' lives. So I'm taking my digital camera for photos.. just a few. ;)

Miz Sherry of the Miz Graphics team put on her personal site something she saw in Woman's Day. She took it and ran with it in a different way and I asked if I could borrow it and use it too. It's 20 Words to live by and once I read them, I knew all 20 of them could be used in one way or another in my biz life. So thank you Sherry for letting me use your beautiful graphic and concept. I have linked back to her site for credit.

One more note. It was brought up on a discussion today, is it private when you post your journal on the web? I guess not. I started this journal for my children. To see my daily life, my fustrations and joys. My mom did it and it was exciting to see what she has gone through. It turned into a learning experience with me on my journal and I know the banners, graphics, links to other sites will mean nothing to them, those journals may be gone by the time they start reading this, but I can at least remember what they were about and how they made me laugh, cry and clap when they had a moment in their life that needed reading.

Kids - this is for you. Love mom.

emode

The Fear Factor -

You are most afraid of moving forward

Have you ever noticed that you're more concerned about making the "right" decisions than many people around you when it comes to your future? Or do you sometimes worry more than you should about committing to your personal or professional goals or feel anxious that you'll never really be successful? If so, you're not alone. There are many people who share your fear of moving forward.

It can be a real strength to recognize your fears. By being aware of the things that frighten you, you can assess whether fear is helping you or negatively impacting your life. For instance, a fear of moving forward may sometimes motivate you to take action in a positive way, like by experiencing a wider variety of things than others.

However, fear's negative aspects can sometimes be more damaging than you realize. Living with fear not only prevents you from living life to the fullest; it can also have a significant negative impact on your energy, health, and your close relationships if not kept in check.

The good news is that you can face your fears. There are simple things you can do right now to see that recurring fearful thoughts don't keep you from living the life you want to live.

emotions

Double crap. Computer crashed twice. I'll never get this finished tonight. An arrange of emotions I've gone through today and I'll highlight them. I'll expand on them tomorrow if I'm up to it.

Recruiter called - didn't get a potential job
Applied for a different job - received email that over 100 people applied for the position, maybe I'll interview next week, maybe I won't.
SuzAnne called me. I'm going to her mansion on Thurs. to talk website with her and husband. Pictures to sneek in will follow.
Julie and I went for a car ride to drop paycheck off in the bank, everytime a grand am was spoted with both looked to see if it was a grand am
Landlord is pissed because we are a day late on rent and has threatened to throw us out.
New layout of the journal and I'm still not happy.
Found the cool 20 words and wanted to work on it tonight. Don't think I'm in the mood or the time.
No one has posted comments, do I bother to care?
Monday at this late of an hour sucks.

banner

I redid my banner for clix. I like this one. You would never know that the car was orginally a purple hue before I got a hold of it. :)

I'm posting at my t h a n k f u l gratitude journal now.

Spots
While looking for a site to plug in the aortal section, one journal had this link: Find Your Spot. After a series of questions about the life style you want, this site comes up with the idea place to live. Here is the recommended places for me. I'm going to have B do his list tonight and maybe we can pick an ideal area for us. I laugh that Denver is no where on my list, but I was confused that Las Vegas wasn't. Price range of a home was what took it off the list. But what got me was that I said NO SNOW and about half of these do get snow.. so I'll show you the list they gave me: and the second list is my list without snow.

Norfolk, Virginia (lived here)
Tampa, Florida
Orlando, Florida (lived here)
Houston, Texas (lived near here)
Chesapeake-Virginia Beach, Virginia (lived here)
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Jacksonville, Florida (lived here)
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Phoenix, Arizona (wanted to live here)
San Antonio, Texas
Memphis, Tennessee
Dallas, Texas
Fort Worth, Texas
Charlotte, North Carolina
El Paso, Texas
Louisville, Kentucky
Nashville, Tennessee (B's from here)
Miami, Florida
Austin, Texas
Richmond, Virginia
Atlanta, Georgia (B's from here)
Birmingham, Alabama (B's from near here)
Tucson, Arizona (wanted to live here)
Hampton, Virginia

My edited list:
Tampa, Florida
Orlando, Florida
Houston, Texas
Jacksonville, Florida
Phoenix, Arizona
San Antonio, Texas
Miami, Florida
Austin, Texas
Atlanta, Georgia
Birmingham, Alabama
Tucson, Arizona
Las Vegas, Nevada

I added Las Vegas and removed anything that said recieved overs 1" of snow. Even 3" inches was removed. My list is small. But I think B's list would be longer, but we could match something together. I was surprised to see some Alabama stuff show up, but because that is close to his dad (like the same city) Birmingham will rule out quickly. But it's just a list.

weekends

I really do appreciate my weekends, even if it means doing nothing. I went to the Southerin LIving yesterday and realized, it's not done by Avon, but by a person who does Avon also. It was pretty neat and I'm thinking of doing a book party and I am making my wish list of items for Christmas, Birthday's and other gift holidays for B to use in his gift giving search.

I finished watching Lord of the Rings last night. Watched part of it last Tues. then while the kids were playing I finished it off.

I never read the book, but I can remember when I was child, my sister had a friend, Ellie. I considered her and her family wierd in all aspects of life. They didn't have a tv growing up and there were tons of old books in the house to look at when we went to visit. When my parents went away for a few weeks, my sister and I went to their home to stay. Ellie's dad was a dr. and drove a BMW so not knowing at the time that this was a fancy car... we kids teased him so for driving such a square car with no color, it was gray/silver. I'm sure he got the last laugh. Though they did not have a tv and lived such a strange life, I marveled at Ellie's mom. She was a stay at home mom and she would make home-made everything. Maple syrup, all kinds of breads, cakes from scratch and then give them away to friends. The house, along with 3 HUGE dogs, 4 cats, 3 bunnies and I think a few other odds and ends animals always had the smell of something being cooked.

But at night, when it was time to quiet down for the night, Ellie's dad would get the kids, she had a younger sister and a new baby brother and sit down and read from this fat, thick book with gold trim on the pages and read about the Hobbits and other mystical stuff. Ellie was 3 years younger then me. I was maybe 10 or 11 at the time and it amazes me know.. when I barely caught on to the Lord of the Rings, the movie.. that she and her sister would catch on to it as a book in their young years. But both Ellie and her sister were gifted girls, her sister skipped 2 grades in school. I could go on and say this lucky family turned out normal, but in the least it didn't. Ellie's mom went on to have 2 more children, Ellie was mortified at the age of 16 her mom having the last baby. Her gifted sister ended up pregnant at 16, but even now she is still with the same guy and they have had their 3rd child. Ellie went on to get 2 degrees. Something in international sales, then while helping her husband study for law, she realized she liked it too and became an international lawyer. And when the two younger kids were growing up, they did back down and get a tv. I bet their dad didn't read the Lord of the Rings to them... they probably saw it at the movies.